A Guide To Runners For Non-runners

Summer is in full swing, meaning runners are, too. Maybe you might have glimpsed fascinating creatures about and outside, loping along trails and paths. Perhaps you have even seen them in suburban settings, like supermarkets and coffeehouses, hunting for food.

But what can you actually understand about these self-conscious aerobic creatures? Are they dangerous? What do they eat? How do you dispose of one that is in your house?







These questions aren’t academic. A growing number of property is developed, and as the population grows, human-runner interactions will merely increase. The following information will help prepare you.

Why do runners run?

Why do runners run? You should inquire, “Why do birds fly?” or “Why do fish swim?” or “Why do people buy scratch off lottery tickets?” The answer to all those questions is the same: Because it is awesome. Also, in the event of running, because perhaps it is possible to lose a few pounds.

Why are those crazy clothes worn by runners?

Scientists are unsure just what function is served by the skimpy and usually brightly colored equipment runners wear. One theory is that it’s designed to attract prospective mates. Another is the fact that it’s not offensive, as it makes them more visible to motorists. Some biologists consider that runners have really evolved to prefer more brilliant clothing, as those wearing flat shades like “Pavement Gray” have a tendency to not live long enough to reproduce.

Are not runners safe?

You should never provoke fascinating creatures, obviously. But runners are not stubborn and will go out of their way in order to avoid confrontation. However, females pushing on jogging strollers may attack if they believe their babies are in risk. Additionally, runners might be enraged by hearing particular phrases; among them:

— “Running will destroy your knees.”

— “Marathons cause heart attacks.”

— “Hey, you’re a jogger, right?”

— “Jogging will destroy your knees.”

Runners who hear any of these may react forcefully. Significance, they will go on to Facebook and post a rant that their running friends will subsequently “Like.”

What do runners eat?

Runners enjoy a varied diet, comprising bananas, sports drinks, bagels, pizza, smoothies, beer, pasta, spareribs, chicken lo mein, muffins, scrambled eggs, sushi, ice cream, grilled shrimp skewers, black bean enchiladas, and those enormous turkey legs they sell at state fairs and Renaissance festivals. And that is merely on their long-run days.

You might be tempted to feed runners–particularly the skinny ones–but don’t do it. You’ll just bring more of them, and runners swarming in great amounts are sometimes a nuisance.

What should I do if I face a runner who is lost and frightened?

From time to time, a runner find himself in unfamiliar territory and may ramble from his pack, such as a dinner party filled with extroverts or a sports bar. Frequently, he’ll seem confused, or agitated.

Don’t panic! Nervousness can be sensed by runners, and it’ll just make a bad situation worse. Approach the runner and ask about his footwear or his watch. Both will probably run -unique. Shortly he’ll be talking nonstop, which will put him at ease. This will buy you some time while someone phones the closest specialty running store. Someone will be sent by the store to pick up the base runner and return him to security.

Imagine if I find a base runner in my house?

Notably in air-conditioned homes, runners may seek help in the hot summertime and then panic when they can’t http://trainingforhalfmarathon.org get back out–especially once they recognize that their GPS watch has lost its satellite connection. If you discover a base runner stuck in your house, open a door and try to “shoo” her out with a sweeper. If this doesn’t work, try a little trickery. Pointing outside and shouting, “Hey! Is not that the man who wrote “Born to Run”?” has been known to work.

Just how do they copy?

Runners practice a complicated mating ritual that commences with the man donning a novelty T shirt reading “Distance Runners Do It Longer” and ends suddenly, minutes after, with the female reminding him that they both have to be up early for a long run so they really should just “hit the hay.”

In short: No one knows.

There’s considerably more, of course. Runners are complex, fascinating creatures, and they have much to teach us. I hope that this information helps ensure that the encounters with runners–this summer and beyond– are ones that are happy and healthy.


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